Thursday, March 24, 2011

Fixing my post about new animals

6 week ago I did my post about new animals. Later I will fix any mistake in the sentence that I make. There is a video of me fixing my mistake. The sentences at the bottom of this is the mistake.
I am curious about new animals that have been discovered. When I was 7 years old. I started get interested about new animals. I get the information from the internet, books and from my friends. I learnt a lot of information about new species of animals and I learnt of other animals. Also I go to the zoo to see animals and I read the sign about the animals.
It was interesting about new animals because I want to know what it look like, is it rare or not and is it big or small. I like animals because I could learn about them, some animals could be friendly and we could be their trainer. There are lots of new animals discovered such as new species of spider, snake, frog, octopus and many more. Most species of animals could be found in the Amazon.
This is a movie about me fixing my mistake about new animals and I will show you what is my mistake ,and how I fix it.


On the bottom of this sentence is the sentences about new animals that I fix.

I am curious about new animals that have been discovered. When I was 7 years old I started to get interested about new animals. I got the information from the Internet, books, and from my friends. I learnt a lot of information about new species of animals and I learnt also other animals. Also I went to the zoo to see animals and I read the sign about the animals.

I was interested about new animals because I want to know what it looks like. Is it rare or not and is it big or small? I like animals because I could learn about them. Some animals could be friendly and we could be their trainer. There are lots of new animals discovered such as new species of spider, snake, frog, octopus, and many more. Most species of animals could be found in the Amazon.



1 comment:

  1. Well done Rendy! I like how quick and easy to follow your edits were and you got most of them right! Great job on adding the picture in picture. Your second draft shows a nice improvement to the first. Sounds like you are understanding the idea of Tense, which is very important.

    ReplyDelete

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